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February 9th, 2007
08:28 pm - So, it's all sorted out.
Well, since arriving back from Waterloo, a lot has happened. Sort of.
Everything with Luther is straightened out. So I'm really happy. But anyway, I'll start from the beginning of when I got home... actually no, I'll start with when I left waterloo, before I got home.
I figured since the bus station is on the way, I'd go and see my best friend Lindsay before I went back to London.... and it was a good idea, and I'm glad I saw her, but on the way I nearly froze to death. It was like minus 17 degrees outside (don't you just love winter?). So I had to cuddle with Luther in the bus shelter to keep warm. But it was really cold. I couldn't stop shaking until I got on the bus. So yeah, we took 2 busses, and finally got to Lindsay's house. It was really nice to see her, and a couple hours later I got to see her mom as well, and that was also nice. I used to live with her and her mom and her 2 sisters after things got bad with my own mom, so yeah, her family is like family to me. So her mom is like a mom to me.. and I haven't seen them in ages. So really it was a nice visit. So yeah, then Lindsay walked me and Luther to the mall, and we hung out there for a bit. Me and Luther had a putine (which is french fries and gravy and cheese, in case you don't know), and we all talked for about 30 minutes at most. And then they both walked me to my bus and I kissed and hugged Luther goodbye and I hugged lindsay too. And then I was off to the bus station in the cold on a bus.. at night... yeah.. fun. At least I had music to keep me company. But I almost cried all the way home. I held it in though.
And then I was back in london. As soon as I got there I felt depressed. London just depresses me so much. It's so dirty and the people are weird. And then I got to my house, and it was completely messy. The dishes weren't done, and there was junk everywhere. And that depressed me even more. And I missed Luther so much already that even though I had to go to work at 8 in the morning, I stayed up until 1 am just to talk to him. But even then I only got to talk to him for about 20-30 minutes. So yeah, for the next three days I had to work, and hardly got to talk to him. And when I commented him on myspace he didn't comment back, and when I talked to him on msn (which wasn't much), it was probably all in my head, but it seemed like he didn't even care that I was gone. Well except for the fact that I remember him telling me how he's able to sleep beside me, when usually when he is sleeping beside someone he always wakes up or can't fall asleep or gets up to go to the bathroom a bunch of times. But he said he sleeps really well beside me. but yeah on msn he said he wasn't sleeping too well, so that was the only think that showed he cared about the fact that I was gone. But because of me not thinking he cared anymore, I got even more depressed...
But today, finally, we got to talk. And it was a good talk. I found out that he does still care, and I told him that I do still care, and we had this big discussion about me moving in with him and we just sorted everything all out.
So it turns out I will be moving in with him (it's like 90% for sure) in about a month and 3 weeks... maybe 2 months. And I'll start school there at an adult school, so I can finally finish my diploma, and I'll get a job there as well. But since I have about 2 months, I'm going to ask my boss if I can start working full time until I move, so that I can save up lots of money to help with the move and food for a month or so, and any other expenses I might have when I move. So if my boss says yes about me working full time, then it'll be really good. If not, I'll just save up whatever money I can. And I've emailed Christine, my big sister, to ask her if she'll be able to help me move my stuff there, and I'm just waiting for a response. I really hope she can, otherwise I don't know how I'll get my stuff there. I'll find a way though.
So that means, school is figured out, and work is figured out, and money is figured out. And as soon as I see him again, I'm going to ask him to be my boyfriend. I didn't ask him already because I was too afraid he'd say no, and now that I'm in a different city I can't ask him, because I have to ask him in person... it's not good to ask someone out online.
All I know is that I'm so happy I'm moving out. And I'm so happy he still cares. And I'm happy that eventually, I'll be able to call him my boyfriend.
Everything just seems to be falling into place.
And my dad also said that if I stayed until april he'd give me some money to help me get started with luther. So yes, everything is falling into place. I'm so excited. Finally, I'll be able to live my life!
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January 30th, 2007
01:50 pm - Hello everyone.
Wow, it's been a while since I've last updated. I've been in Kitchener for the past week and few days. I've been visiting my guy friend Luther. I absolutely love it here... He makes the greatest food ever. I've probably gained some weight since I've come here, which is good because I'm way way too skinny. I'm not going to go into detail about the food though, simply because I'm too lazy. But I'll just say, it's really really good food.
While I was here I got to see 2 of my friends that I haven't seen in a while... Chris and Lisa. So that was pretty nice... although Chris is really weird now. And I also got to meet 2 people.. Kayla and Kara. They're both really awesome and nice. But also, 2 of my friends have cancelled plans with me. My best friend Lindsay made up some excuses not to come over, which was dumb. And Pat just couldn't hang out because of random reasons. So it's too bad I didn't see them yet. I'll probably be seeing lindsay some time this week. But I probably won't be seeing Pat for a really long time, because he'll be busy all this week and then he's moving out of his parents house. I'm so happy he is too. Everyone keeps telling him it's a bad idea, but he's *really* unhappy there. So I think he should just ignore everyone and do it. It will be a good experience for him.
So yeah, I really like being here with Luther. He's a great guy. He's just getting over his ex gf though, so I haven't asked him to be my boyfriend yet. I could any time, and he'd most likely say yes.. but he needs more time, so I'm going to wait. I don't even know if I should ask him out. I mean I'm going back to london in about a week.... so who knows what will happen. I mean, he asked me to move in with him, and I'm more than willing to do that... but it's more complicated than me just packing my stuff and moving. Because I'm worried about my schooling. I still need gr 10, 11, and 12. And I don't want to go back to a regular highschool. I could just go to his school... but won't it be hard? Because I'll need to have a job too, to pay for my food. Or I could just forget about school and just work. Or try doing homeschooling while I'm here. He's a teacher after all, so he could help me. But I'd really have to try hard to finish it all and to get up and follow through with the work on a regular basis. Which I could do.. it would just take a lot of effort. I'm also afraid that if I move here I won't be able to find a job. I suck at finding jobs. And if I can't find one, then I dunno... I mean he probably would pay for my food at first, but after a while I don't know if he still could.
So yes, I guess I just have to sort those three things out... food, school, and work.... and then everything will be fine.
But then there's the fact that I'm a complete commitment phobe. It seems like such a big thing to become his girlfriend and move in.. (oh and in case you don't know me in person which most of you don't, I live in london, and he lives in waterloo.. and those 2 cities are like an hour and a half away from each other... so if I want to be his gf (which I do) I can't just not move in). But I guess I could get over that. okay so there's 4 things I have to work through.... food, school, work, and my commitment phobia. I'm really not good at doing things long term, and this is something I would want to be long term... I don't want to mess everything up like I usually do.
Oh yeah, and then there's the fact that I would have to go home, quit my job, tell my dad I'm moving, pack my stuff and find a way to get it to Luther's. I'm sure my big sister could help me move my stuff though... since she has a car, and I don't have much stuff.
Oh yeah, and then there's the thing that because of the fact that him and his gf just broke up and he's not completely over her yet, I might just be a rebound.. so if that's the case, then moving in with him is not a good idea.
Arrg... so much stuff to sort out. food, school, work, commitment phobia, quitting job, packing stuff, finding away to move stuff, worrying about being a rebound.... It's becoming rather overwhelming.... but I like him so much. I think I love him... I mean, I can't even stand to be away from him for more than 5 minutes... and sometimes when he's like not even a meter away from me it feels like he's too far away.. which is really weird. Gah.. I guess I'll just have to work through all that stuff. Every realationship needs sacrifices right? Every relationship has things that need to be worked through right?
I guess the only thing I can do is give it a try.
Oh yeah... and I haven't gotten a chance to read anyone's Live journals lately... since I've been busy with Luther.. so I'll have to read them some other time.
PeAcE oUt DaWg! lol.
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January 19th, 2007
01:19 am - Srila Prabhupada!
Okay, so at first I just liked Srila Prabhupada because of who he is... and because of the fact that he is the one that started the whole KC movement in the west... but now I've actually been reading some of his books.. and I dunno.. I feel like i'm starting to get to know him..... and now that I'm reading his books.. I don't know.. I just love what he says, and the way he says it.. and how he is so logical and so wise.. he seems to have all the answers to everything. And he can be strict.. but at the same time he is completely nice and gentle and happy and.... yeah.. I'm just really starting to love him and appreciate everything that he's done and everything that he is. He's incredible.
Glories to Srila Prabhupada!
PS/ I'll be gone for the weekend.
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January 15th, 2007
07:04 pm - Oh Krishna!
I went downtown today. First I went to the library with my dad, and then before I had to leave the library for my doc appointment my dad was telling me to go home after the appointment so that he could stay at the library and be by himself... so I was like "OK O.o" So I got to the doc and he ended up calling there and saying that he changed his mind and would wait for me at the library. So I did that. And we ended up going to Govinda Galleries (a paintings store) so I could see if they still had that Krishna painting I wanted to buy but they didn't. It's sad because the store is called "Govinda" (which is another name for Lord Krishna) and they don't even have any pictures of him.
Anyway, then I ended up going to City Lights... a used bookstore. I always go in there to look at the records. But this time.. this particular time... on my way out I noticed a picture of Buddha. So I'm like "Cool, Buddha" and started looking in that secton. "This must be the religious section" I thought. And then I noticed a book that was sticking out. It was a nice book.. a beautiful shade of Blue. So I pulled it out and it said "Srimad Bhagavatam" by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. And so I was like "oh my gosh! a book by Swami Prabhupada!" And then... I looked at that section right near where the book was only to find about a billion more books, all by Srila Prabhupada! And they are all at pretty cheap prices! So on friday I'm going back and I'm going to buy as many of them as I can. I can't wait!
I just love Krishna so much. Just when I thought I had failed him... just when I thought I couldn't love him enough... just when I was hoping that something would come along that would help me have more faith and devotion for him.. he leads me to a bookstore with a bunch of books by Srila Prabhupada at cheap prices. He's incredible no? He must have done something to persuade my dad to change his mind about making me go home... otherwise I never would have found those books.
I love Krishna so much. My heart is overflowing with love for him... but it still feels like it's not enough. I'll never be able to love him enough. But he loves me so much anyway. He's just.... wow. So wow. I love him.
Jai Sri Krishna! All Glories to Lord Sri Krishna!
Current Location: Space.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/pink/excited.gif) ecstatic
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January 14th, 2007
03:38 pm - *sigh*
I try and I try and I try.....
And I fail!
Krishna, I will never deserve your love.
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12:14 am - A beautiful story from someone's myspace!
FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND
Imagine you and Lord Chaitanya are walking down the road together. For much of the way, the Lord's footprints go along steadily, consistently, rarely varying the pace. But your footprints are a disorganized stream of zigzags, starts, stops, turnarounds, circles, departures, and returns. For much of the way, it seems to go like this, but gradually your footprints come more in line with the Lord's, soon paralleling His consistently. You and Lord Chaitanya are walking as true friends! This seems perfect, but then an interesting thing happens: Your footprints that once etched the sand next to Lord Chaitanya's are now walking precisely in His steps. Inside His larger footprints are your smaller ones, you and Lord Chaitanya are becoming one. This goes on for many miles, but gradually you notice another change. The footprints inside the large footprints seem to grow larger. Eventually they disappear altogether. There is only one set of footprints. They have become one. This goes on for a long time, but suddenly the second set of footprints is back. This time it seems even worse! Zigzags all over the place. Stops. Starts. Gashes in the sand. A variable mess of prints. You are amazed and shocked. Your dream ends. Now you pray: "My dear Lord Chaitanya, I understand the first scene, with zigzags and fits. I was a new devotee; I was just learning. But You walked on through the storm and helped me learn to walk with You." "That is correct." "And when the smaller footprints were inside of Yours, I was actually learning to walk in Your steps, following You very closely." "Very good... You have understood everything so far." When the smaller footprints grew and filled in Yours, I suppose that I was becoming like You in every way." "Precisely." "So, my dear Lord Chaitanya, was there a regression or something? The footprints separated, and this time it was worse than at first." There is a pause as the Lord answers, with a smile in His voice. "You didn't know? It was then that we danced!"
Current Location: The Material World
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/pink/thirsty.gif) thirsty
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January 10th, 2007
05:51 pm - I almost got fired today...
So, my boss talked to me today. Apparently there was a "secret shopper" review and lucky me, I got to serve the person. Yeah right. I did really bad on it. He said if it ever happens again he'll fire me. But the thing is, I think I know who the secret shopper was. You know, since he told me she was waiting for a while to be served. There was this one girl who came in and after a while was like "I've been waiting here for like 10 minutes, I need to be served". And like, the thing is, we had 2 cash registers open at the time, and there were a lot of people lined up, and she chose to go to the third cash register that wasn't even open. So it's her own fault she had to wait. And she was so rude to me that I didn't even get a chance to be nice to her. Hence the bad review. So if that was the secret shopper than that's messed up. Because I don't do that to other people. If you want to order something people, don't go to a register that isn't being used! So yeah, I have to be "nicer to the customers" from now on.... I have to be really "bubbly" or else I might get fired. nice eh? Except I'm sort of lucky, because my boss is so nice. If I had a different boss I wouldn't have been given a second chance. Except dammit.. I'm gonna get "written-up". Oh well, *sigh*. I might just quit in a few weeks anyway. But then how will I be able to save up to go to India?
Also, I'm really getting sick of work. Today I had an 8 hour shift and it was so unbusy that I ended up standing around for most of the day. I couldn't handle it. The only plus side was that it gave me an extra chance to do some mantra. But other than that I was COMPLETELY bored. Really I couldn't handle just standing around. It's such a waste of the day. Except.. it was sort of nice, because I got to talk to Johnny (cute guy from work) a lot. I finally found out his age. He's 17. I was so completely shocked when I found that out. I was all like "dude you look like you're 20 or 22". lol. He was surprised that I thought that. We laughed a lot today. I wish he liked me as much as I like him (which isn't very much, because I don't know him all that well lol... but he's so cute).
Anyway.. work sucks. bleh!
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January 9th, 2007
01:54 am - I love you Bhagavan Das!
Dear Bhagavan Das,
I read your book "It's here now (are you?)" and I absolutely love it! You really touched my heart and changed my life.
I love you.
Your loving servant,
Adriana
I read his book and added him as a myspace friend. And he added me back and sent me a messege!
DEAR HIPPIE GIRL
THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVE AND DEVOTION.
AFTER ALL YOU ARE THE WHOLE UNIVERSE IN ONE PRECIOUS HUMAN BODY OF BLISS.
SEND ME YOUR BIRTH DATE, TIME OF BIRTH AND PLACE AND I WILL LOOK AT YOUR STARS.
MUCH LOVE
BABA BHAGAVAN DAS
I love him. =)
www.myspace.com/bhagavandas
Current Location: on a cloud
Current Mood: ecstatic
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January 5th, 2007
08:47 pm - Thank you, money, and ignorant people.
First I want to say thanks to those who said kind words on my last entry about my hamster. I appreciate it.
Next, I got paid today! $500. All those christmas hours paid off. And I even got to go shopping with my friend Vik whom I haven't seen in ages. Here is what I bought:
Shoes! Vik got me a 25% discount since she works at sport check. So I got some vans (lol "vans are the new converse")... they are pink and black.. but mostly black.
4 Cds: Let it Be - The Bealtes, Rubber Soul - The Beatles, Skin and Bones - The Foo fighters, and Blonde on Blonde - Bob Dylan.
2 DVDS: A Hard Day's Night and Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
A white hoody with a cool black design on it and says "strength" and "loyalty".
2 pairs of jeans.
3 cute bras.
So I'm happy, because I needed the clothing/shoes, and I've wanted the Cds and DVDs.
Also, my aunt is ordering me a bunch of George Harrison stuff from the online George Harrison shop. Here is what she's ordering me:
I Me Mine (book)
Electronic Sounds (Cd)
Woderwall Music (CD)
Cloud Nine (Cd)
Extra Texture(read all about it) (Cd)
Dark Horse (Cd)
The Concert for Bangladesh (Cd)
Dark Horse Canvas Bag (Purse)
And I think that's it. Maybe a couple more things that I forgot to mention.
But yeah... I'm happy she decided to order the stuff for me! ^_^
Also..... My friend patrick told me something about the bible and that it doesn't say something when it actually does. So I told him he was wrong.. and he got all mad and wouldn't admit it... or else he really didn't understand what i was saying, which is sad, because I said everything pretty clearly... But I can't even talk to him anymore. The thing is... religion has come between us. I mean.. I'm all for Jesus... but he won't accept that I'm not wrong about believing in Krishna. He has the whole christian "I'm right and you're wrong and I'm going to heaven and you're not" type of viewpoint.. which is so annoying.
A wise man once said "Many roads can take you there in many different ways, one direction takes you years, another takes you days". And it's so right. As in many roads lead to God.. just some roads take longer than others. But they all lead to God. So it doesn't matter if I believein Krishna and he believes in Jesus.. but he just can't see it. and it's really sad, because he is... or was... one of my best friends... and now we can't even talk to each other at all. It's all just so iggnorant of him, to not talk to me because I believe in someone different.
Oh well... Bye for now everyone!
Current Location: Canada eh.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/pink/angry.gif) annoyed
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January 4th, 2007
01:17 pm - Apple.
My hamster, Apple, died last night. I'm so sad about it.
And I have a headache.
And I have to work today.
What a great start to the new year. blah.
Hare Krishna.
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January 1st, 2007
03:30 pm - The New Year.
I'm hoping this year will be better than the last. Last year was probably the worst year of my life. I'm glad it's over. This year I want to accomplish more. Here are the top 10 things I want to accomplish/do this year:
1. Chant at least 6 rounds of the Hare Krishna Mantra per day. I really don't chant nearly as much as I should.
2. Finally find a way to go and visit the Krishna Temple in Toronto (which is the closest one to me) and possibly stay there for a few days or even a week.
3. Start saving for my trip to India.
4. Go back to school.
5. Not dye my hair or get it cut at all.
6. Read as many books as I can.
7. Buy an electric guitar.
8. Learn how to play my Ukulele.
9. Regulate my sleep cycle and go to bed at a somewhat decent hour.
10. Get over my depression.
Those are all the things I want to do this year. Hopefully I will be able to accomplish at least half of them, although I'm sure, if I try hard enough I can accomplish them all.
I know there are probably other things that I should try to do too, but those are the ones that involve me. I'd also like to start donating to a charity or something. I was thinking of becoming one of those foster parent people... you know... for the price of a cup of coffee per day or whatever you can save the life of a poor kid in africa. I think that would be so nice to do.
Anyway, my overly optimistic - ness is starting to scare me. So I guess I'll just end this here.
Hare Krishna!
"Ring out the old, ring in the new. Ring out the false, ring in the true." - George Harrison.
Current Location: Sitting on a Lotus.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/pink/cheerful.gif) optimistic
Current Music: video game music.
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December 31st, 2006
07:52 pm - Still haven't gotten a chance.
I still haven't gotten a chance to read anyone's journal.
With family visiting I hardly get a chance to go on LJ, let alone read people's journals.
So if I haven't already said it, I'd like to wish you all a Happy New Year!.
Another year stuck in the Material World! oh boy oh boy! [insert sarcasm here].
Good luck everyone.
Hare Krishna!
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December 30th, 2006
11:43 pm - I think...
I think I need a psychiatrist or psychologist or something... *sigh*
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December 28th, 2006
11:50 pm
Oh my gosh.... My mom comes to visit and yet every 2 seconds she is like "I'm bored, I'm bored". If she's bored she should just go the fu<k home! I mean, there are so many other issues I have with her, but gah! at the moment, that is what's bothering me most about her. Except for this other thing. that she's crying cuz she has to go back hom eventually to a so called "jail" home where she is trapped. She is all depressed now too, and she's crying because she has to go home in 5 days. I mean FIVE days. She should be sad like the day before. Not now. And grr. She makes such a big deal about other things that mean literally nothing to anyone. And there's this thing....the thing is, she can't live in the same city as me and my dad and my older brothers. And the other thing is... she blames EVERYONE but herself for the fact that she can't live here in this city... Except the only person's fault it is is her own! And she won't admit it. SHE chose to leave my dad. She didn't HAVE TO. It's not like he kicked her out or anything. And the reason? BECAUSE HER FRIENDS TOLD HER TO. Because they all were so they told her to leave her husband, and she did. Because she has to conform. She can't dare to be different from someone. She is just a clone of everyone else and thinks she's better then them all, and criticizes everyone and judges everyone. And it's just so annoying. It's her own Karma that she ended up like this, but she blames everyone else. It's only her. Who is she? I don't even know. She just likes/does what everyone else likes/does. (and to explain it a bit more, she can't live in this city cuz of a court order... because the dad of the younger kids needs to be able to get to the kids and not have to travel that far for visits).
And now I've been rambling......
I don't really have much more time so I'll cut this off now. But here is a song by George Harrison that I think fits my life lately.... not only because of the thing with my mom, but also because of the situation at work , which I still haven't had a chance to tell you about.
See Yourself - George Harrison
It's easier to tell a lie than it is to tell the truth
It's easier to kill a fly than it is to turn it loose
It's easier to criticize somebody else
Than to see yourself
It's easier to give a sigh and be like all the rest
Who stand around and crucify you while you do your best
It's easier to see the books upon the shelf
Than to see yourself
It's easier to hurt someone and make them cry
Than it is to dry their eyes
I got tired of fooling around with other people's lies
Rather I'd find someone that's true
It's easier to say you won't than it is to feel you can
It's easier to drag your feet than it is to be a man
It's easier to look at someone eles's wealth
Than to see yourself
Wow.. that song is like so my mom. And arrrg! I think I have a virus. Everytime I went to click a link on google to find the lyrics it wouldn't open the right page. dhhhaaaahhhahahahaaaaammmm it! At least I finally found the lyrics. Omgsh... she freaks out about such stupid things. Grrr.
Bye.
Ps/ Kgoodwriter I still haven't forgotten about you. =P I can't wait to get a chance to read more of your journal entries. I sort of read one, and Smirnoff is yummy! ^_^
Current Mood: annoyed
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December 25th, 2006
02:13 pm - Christmas today.
Okay so, my family is visiting so I haven't really had a chance to update. And I can't REALLY update now.
I'd just like to say Merry Krishmas and happy Holidays to everyone.
Also... bleh! Work drama. I actually did something nice for someone ... and it blew up in my face (or is about to when I go to work on thursday. I'll explain later.
And I haven't forgot about you kgoodwriter. *wink* I'll read your journal soon as I can.
*sigh* my mom is making a big deal about making a pie today for christmas. so annoying.
Anyhoo. Bye.
~Hare Krishna! Hare Krishna!
Current Location: in a room filled with people.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/pink/tired.gif) tired
Current Music: video game music, sadly.
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December 19th, 2006
09:13 pm - Oh my Gosh!
Oh my gosh! I learned While My Guitar Gently Weeps on my guitar!!! Best song ever! and I can play it! It's a beatles song... in case you don't know. lol.
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December 18th, 2006
05:00 pm - Nancy.
So, this woman I work with has become like a mother figure to me. I've only known her for about a month, but still. And the sad things is, this is her last week at work. At least I get to work with her all week though. But after this week she is going travelling with her husband. I'm just a little bit sad that she's leaving. I mean, I do have my own mother, but I don't get to see her often because of divorced parents. And even when I do see her, we don't really get along. When we talk to each other it's like, neither of us cares what the other has to say. But with Nancy I do care what she has to say, and she seems to care about what I have to say. And when I had a headache she gave me an asprin, and today I got burned or something and she sprayed antiseptic on it, and then when that didn't work she went through her purse and tried putting lip balm on the burn thing and it helped. I know it's just the Divine Mother being with me through Nancy... but I can't help but feel a little attached.
Also.. it's really bad, cuz I like this guy at work named Ryan.. except Julie, a different person I work with, is his girlfriend. So yeah. lol. Me and ryan = going nowhere together, which sort of sucks. Because he's oh-so-cute in a geeky sort of way. lol... at least there's still Johnny though.
Other than that not much has been happening. I might see my big sister during my lunch break on wednesday... but that's about it.
Hare Krishna!
Current Location: in the dark
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Gaurda Dasa
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December 17th, 2006
08:51 am - 5 hours early for work.
So, it's really funny because I showed up 5 hours early for work today. Here is what happened:
I checked the schedule last time I was at work, and it said I had to be there at 12, so I ended up staying up until 2:30 in the morning thinking "Oh yeah, I won't be tired, I can sleep until 11" but then when I went upstairs I checked my work schedule thing that I wrote down and it said I have to be there at 7:30, so I was a little confused. So I took a shower and went to bed, and ended up getting like 3 hours of sleep. And then I went there, only to find out that I really didn't have to work until 12! So I could have slept in! And it's just really funny, and really stupid of me!
I'm sure I'm suppossed to learn something from all of this. Krishna was probably trying to teach me something by it. Maybe to always double check things, or to always be sure of things. To always be sure of my first instinct (which was to be there by 12). Because maybe, if I can be sure of other things, I'll end up being able to really be sure of him... since sometimes I sort of lack in faith.
Or maybe I wasn't suppossed to learn anything by it.
But either way, it's pretty funny, showing up 5 hours early for work, when I could have slept in.
Krishna does after all, have a funny sense of humour. And by funny I don't mean "ha ha" I mean more like odd... and odd sense of humour, but a good one. lol.
Hare Krishna!
Current Location: Sitting on a Lotus
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: the clicking of the keyboard.
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December 16th, 2006
08:48 pm - I gave in.... and the visit with my Grandma.
Okay so, today was Ekadasi (and still is), so I was suppossed to be fasting from grain products and beans etc.... but then when I was at my Grandma's house my dad made spaghetti and cheese bread! I mean come on.. Don't offer me speghetti and cheese bread on Ekadasi! I'm suppossed to be fasting! So I ended up giving in and eating the food. And it was pretty good. But gah! I'm such a bad devotee. Next Ekadasi (which is on the 30th I believe), I'll definately fast all day, for sure, and not give in. I need to do more chanting!
So anyway, the visit with my Grandma was nice, as always. I cleaned her house, we had some tea, ate dinner together, watched a bit of tv, talked. It was nice. She's so sweet. And then my Aunt came to give me and my dad a ride home, and we went to the grocery store on the way home. We bought some food, of course. But then I saw this stuffed cow there, and so since I love cows sooo much, my aunt baught it for me! ^_^ And she also bought me a christmas gingerbread house (the kind you get to have fun putting the candy and icing on lol). She is so nice, she always buys me stuff! She'd still be nice anyway though, even if she didn't buy me anything.
So here are some pictures of me and the cow:
http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b50/yellow_pantomime/Frame00008.jpg
http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b50/yellow_pantomime/Frame00010.jpg
http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b50/yellow_pantomime/Frame00023.jpg
http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b50/yellow_pantomime/Frame00028.jpg
Now you can put a face to my... name. lol Do you know my name? lol It's Adri. Or Adriana, or Eleanor Rigby, or Yamuna... lol yeah, lots of names. Anyway, that's all for now.
Hare Krishna!
Current Location: Existing in a world of illusion.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/pink/happy.gif) happy
Current Music: Garuda Dasa
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01:28 pm - Ekadasi today... and my Grandma.
So, today is Ekadasi. I started the day out with some Japa. I did 6 rounds. (There are 108 beads on each set of Mantra beads, so everytime you get through each 108, that is called a round. So I said the mantra 6 x 108... whatever that is =P). Anyway, my mind kept wandering, and that was no good. But I tried as hard as I could to concentrate. It took about an hour and a half to do the 6 rounds. Usually on Ekadasi you are suppossed to do 25 rounds, but I don't think I will be able to do that many. But Later tonight I'm going to go for 6 more rounds.
Ekadasi is a day of fasting. Usually you fast from grains (rice, bread, pasta, etc.) and beans and legumes and stuff. So I've been fasting. It's better not to eat anything at all that day, but you can eat things if you offer it to Krishna first. So I offered him an apple (cut up nicely) and a cup of milk (he loves milk!). I don't know why, but food just tastes better after being offered to the Lord. It was honestly the best apple I've ever had, and I ate it so fast. And the milk was so tastey too.
While I was chanting an image came into my head of some place in India. I think it was the Taj Mahal near the Yamuna river ("Yamuna" is one of the names I go by lol, among many others). I think it's about time I start saving up for my trip to India!
So in a little while I'm going to my Grandma's house to clean for her (she can't do it on her own anymore). She has alzheimer's disease. Which means she has a pretty bad memory. She always asks the same questions over and over, which annoys me sometimes, but also makes me really sad. She knows she is going to die soon. And she's so lonely because she can't remember that people come and visit her. It makes me feel so bad for her.
Since She lives downtown, I might end up going to the library after I clean her house.
So, today is my day off of work. Since it's christmas I have a crazy amount of hours. For the past week I worked 5 days instead of 3. And this week (starting tomorrow) I work 6 days. Tomorrow I work from 12-7. And from monday -friday I work everyday from 7:30 - 4... which is pretty much full time hours. And I'm suppossed to be part-time. But I don't mind, I'll get lots of money this way. After Christmas though, I'm sure it will go back to the normal 3 days a week.
Anyway, I have to go get ready to leave. The bus to my Grandma's comes soon.
~Hare Krishna!
Current Location: In a room.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/pink/cold.gif) cold
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